The loneliness of whistle-blowing

Ann: One of my nonprofit colleagues spent years of advocacy on an unpopular issue on behalf of the common good, challenging a sacred cow of the medical industrial complex. It cost her thousands of dollars out of her own savings, consumed over five years of her professional life, and took its toll on her physical health. In response to what motivated her to do this nonprofit work, she had this to say:

While I maintain a rather quiet, professional, measured tone in my advocacy, in fact, I am incredibly angry. I’ve acted as a matter of conscience, because factual information was not being shared. I am so triggered by the deception and the injustice of it.

I liken my nonprofit work to the actions of a whistleblower, most of whom, rather than being hailed, or even thanked, don’t fare very well. By seeing and actually experiencing outright deception firsthand, I feel as though I’ve lost a kind of innocence that many Americans still operate from, much as, say, a Viet Nam vet might feel as s/he comes to see the truths behind that war.

The work has added to a darker perspective on life in the U.S., on the planet even, that makes a lot of folks (if I were to share it) uncomfortable. And I experience a sense of being rather alone. Or of having the curse of Cassandra, who spoke true prophecies that no one believed.

At times, I feel hurt, like when a an old friend still doesn’t believe me. But this is common. Talk about the dangers of something generally accepted , and you can just feel the defenses go up, or eyes roll, and hear people thinking: “Oh, God, no, please don’t let’s get into that. (In truth, at the height of my doing this work, I likely knew more about this complicated issue overall than any other person in my state. But I could probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times people ignorant of the subject elicited conversation with me about it. )

So, I often live life around others with a significant part of myself hidden. Because it isn’t just one issue I question. I’m on the questioning side of many generally-accepted practices where I believe public opinion has been shaped and then reinforced to serve an agenda. So many examples of this have come to light over the years, but people continue to view them as isolated and not applicable to many of the frames they hold up to life.

While I don't regret my decision to take the issue on, it did have a physical and financial cost, and it angers me that anyone would have to put their life on hold to stop such a deceptive, unjust, and outrageous practice.

Ann: She's also an excellent photographer!